Recovery from gambling addiction is a process

Recovery from gambling addiction is a process

Several Oklahoma organizations teamed up to host a free workshop in Edmond to provide information and resources related to problem gambling. Representatives and people who have had gambling addictions spoke about resources for coping and recovery.

BY DARLA SLIPKE Oklahoman

After a 32-hour gambling binge, Jeff Aynes contemplated making the ultimate gamble.

He parked his van on the side of a cliff along a winding road between Oklahoma City and Dallas on the morning of Feb. 10, 2006. He prayed it would look like an accident when he drove over the edge so his wife and two daughters could collect life insurance.



Two days earlier, Aynes was headed home from working as a disc jockey at a wedding in Elk City. The weather was bad, so Aynes called his wife and told her he was going to pull over. He didn’t tell her he was about to stop at a casino.

Aynes was a compulsive gambler, but he was getting help. At that point, it had been 90 days since he last gambled.

During the next 32 hours, Aynes visited eight casinos spread from Tulsa to Goldsby. He ignored dozens of calls from friends and family.

Aynes was winning, which made him angry. In his mind, he didn’t deserve to win. He was a loser. So he resolved to keep gambling until he lost. After the winnings were gone, Aynes kept playing until he had lost everything else.

He doesn’t remember how he got from that last casino to the curve in the road where he parked his van. He’s not even sure which casino he left last. Everything was a daze. Somehow, Aynes drove to that spot near the Falls Creek Baptist Conference Center in the Arbuckle Mountains, where he had gone before when he was depressed about gambling losses. This time he was set on driving over the edge.

The road was narrow and winding, which is why Aynes prayed his suicide would look like an accident. God didn’t listen. At least not to Aynes.


Raising awareness
On Saturday, Aynes, 43, discussed this problem and road to recovery during a workshop for people affected by problem gambling. About two dozen people attended the event, held at Henderson Hills Baptist Church in Edmond.
Representatives from local organizations and several people who are coping with gambling problems spoke about overcoming addiction.

Gambling problems affect people of all ages and backgrounds. Many Oklahomans have lost their savings, marriages, jobs and homes.

About 200,000 Oklahomans — close to 5 percent of the population — are considered problem or pathological gamblers. Oklahoma has 111 casinos and ranks third in the nation for number of slot machines with 64,000, said Wiley Harwell, executive director of the Oklahoma Association for Problem and Compulsive Gambling.

Compulsive gamblers often are fueled by the adrenaline rush that comes with hitting a jackpot. It keeps them chasing after their next high. Many lie to their families and hide their finances.

People can seek help in a variety of ways, said Susie Harrigan, a therapist at A Chance to Change.

“There’s more than one way to climb up a mountain,” she said. “Everybody has their own way.”

A Chance to Change is a nonprofit organization based in Oklahoma City that helps people suffering from addictions and behavioral disorders and their family members. Among other services, the organization offers $5 counseling sessions for qualifying individuals.

Harrigan discussed the many stages that problem gamblers and their families go through. They include denial, codependence, anger and guilt.


A gambler’s story
Dorothy Grimes, of Choctaw, knows the stages well. Grimes, 60, gambled for years, but her problems escalated when casinos became big in Oklahoma. Grimes hit a low on her 39th wedding anniversary in September 2006.
Her husband worked nights at Tinker Air Force Base. On the afternoon of their anniversary, Grimes headed to the casino while her husband slept and went to work.

She gambled all night and felt guilty for squandering her family’s hard-earned money. Grimes managed the family’s finances so her husband wouldn’t notice.

Less than two months later, she went back to the casino and won big. Within a two- or three-week period, Grimes had recovered enough money to pay her debts. Instead, she bought a ring and a refrigerator and gambled the rest. Eventually the money ran out.

Grimes sought help. Recovery is an ongoing process, she said. Her husband, children and grandchildren have supported her. Grimes’ husband is at retirement age, but he will keep working for several years because Grimes refinanced their home.

The temptation hasn’t disappeared completely, but Grimes is determined to choose recovery over gambling.


The road to recovery
On the morning of Feb. 10, 2006, Aynes is convinced that God listened to prayers from his family.
Instead of driving over the edge, Aynes noticed the birds chirping and the trees around him.

He thought about his wife and daughters.

Aynes decided to take responsibility for his recovery. Later that night, he went to a support meeting. This time he was ready. He knew he needed to go through the steps for himself, not for others.

Next month, Aynes will celebrate five years in recovery. He gets to be a father to his daughters, ages 11 and 17.

Aynes wishes he could have back the time he lost, but he knows he can’t escape the past. Instead, he focuses on the future and celebrates his victories.

“If my story helps one person, it makes a difference,” he said.