Former gambling addict tells her story

Former gambling addict tells her story

LeAnne Holden gives a presentation on her gambling addiction at the Wisconsin Council on Problem Gambling at Chula Vista. Holden's gambling lead to eight years in prison. She now talks to others to try and keep them from making the same mistakes she did.

LeAnne Holden had a family, a good job and a clean criminal record. Eventually gambling would take away all of that.

Holden — who spent eight years in state prison from 2004 to 2012 — shared her story at the Wisconsin Council on Problem Gambling Conference at Chula Vista last week.

“At the time I had a very nice job. I was a county supervisor with a corporation and I ended up using the money from the corporation for gambling,” Holden told the Events.


Despite being college-educated and maintaining a good income, Holden could not look beyond the immediate satisfaction of gambling, she said. It helped her escape from the pressure of life and gave her the feeling that she really was somebody.

She suffered from being a middle child who always felt she didn’t receive the attention her siblings did. She would fade in the background with her wallflower personality, she said.

“I don’t look for excuses for what I did, but I do see where had I been given better skills to cope with things in life. When pressures got to me I would seek isolation and the gambling machines were my isolation,” Holden said.

The poker machines at the local tavern started to take in most of Holden’s money.

“It was easily accessible and I didn’t have to travel, and I could still be what I thought was a mom to my kids. Even though I was there physically I wasn’t always there mentally wholeheartedly because my mind wasn’t totally there,” Holden said.

Holden’s husband stood by her during her time in prison and they recently celebrated their 15th anniversary. She has two children from a previous marriage — one who is doing well and another who currently somewhat lost in life, she said. The hardest part of going to jail was having to tell the daughter she has with her current husband.

Only 4 years old when Holden went to jail, her daughter did not understand the complete reality of the situation. As she grew older she learned what prison was, but initially thought of it as her mom taking a grownup’s time out.

“I was in a holding cell in Washington County where I was literally soul searching and just asking why. What lead me to think I could get away with it and why was I so stupid?” Holden said.

She said she no longer feels the need to gamble as the hole in her life has been filled by her relationship with God. She doesn’t try to hide from her past and instead uses it to try and reach out to others dealing with the same affliction.

“If I can though my experience help one person be able to use what I’ve gone through — that’s all I seek,” Holden said. “While I was incarcerated I knew I couldn’t just use my experience to sit back on it. I knew there are too many out there like myself who may begin innocently enough and don’t realize it can grow into such a big mess.”

http://www.wiscnews.com/wisconsindellsevents/news/local/article_dcd1f0f9-808f-5f31-a86e-57b332adf89e.html