Woman paid ultimate price for addiction, ex-husband says
Suburban mother lost thousands of dollars on slot machines
The west suburban man knew about his wife's occasional trips to casinos in
Joliet and Indiana, but he had no idea how deep an addiction she had until a
real estate agent showed up at his door. His house was in foreclosure, he was
told.
His wife, a dedicated mother of three who always made lunch for the kids, had always handled the family's finances. But she hadn't paid the mortgage in a year. Instead she had gambled away hundreds of thousands of dollars playing slot machines.
If he didn't sign foreclosure papers that day in 2003, he learned, their DuPage County home was scheduled to be auctioned off less than 24 hours later.
"I was completely confused," said Clarence, who did not want his last name used to protect his and his children's identities. "The house is going to be auctioned off? I had to get the facts. I thought, 'I'm not signing anything until I find out exactly what's going on here.'"
Clarence, a software engineer, doesn't find it easy to talk about how
gambling slowly consumed his wife and brought ruin to their family. He pauses
and chokes back a lump in his throat when he mentions his three children, who
are now young adults, and how close they came to losing their home.
His wife started visiting casinos as a way to take a break from the kids, he
said. But in time, he said, she grew increasingly secretive.
"It seemed like she would tell me when she won, but would not tell me when she lost," Clarence said.
"She was getting the mail, bills weren't being paid, she was borrowing money. I didn't want to create any big family problems. I was hoping that she would come to the logical conclusion that this was bad behavior and she'd stop doing it."
After turning away the real estate agent, Clarence borrowed $2,000 from his cousin to hire an Addison bankruptcy attorney, who worked late into the night to file documents to stop the house auction.
The next day, Clarence opened a new checking account and took control of the family's finances. A day later, his wife filed for divorce.
Clarence's wife kept gambling. She stayed out all night at casinos and stopped making lunches for their children.
Two casinos, Harrah's East Chicago Inc. and Empress Casino Joliet Corp., sued her and were granted judgments totaling more than $7,000 in 2002, records show.
"Going to the casino became a priority," Clarence said. "She was so determined. You couldn't stop her. She'd run you over."
Over the next two years, the couple, who had been together for more than two decades, went through an acrimonious custody battle, he said.
But the financial strain wasn't easy to overcome. Clarence worked 60 hours a week to cover expenses and once visited a food pantry for assistance.
"Here I am, two master's degrees from IIT and going to a food pantry," he said. "I never thought I'd be in that position."
Clarence said the family is now out of debt. He maintains that he loved his ex-wife and does not blame her for her addiction. Rather, he feels the casinos took advantage of his ex-wife's illness. He called it unethical for casinos to mail marketing materials to their regular customers, some of whom might have a gambling problem. He said such mailings enticed his ex-wife to keep gambling.
"When (casinos) go for their renewal in front of the Illinois Gaming Board, they'll talk about all the good they did," Clarence said. "But they never came and tried to help me out. It's pretty aggravating.
Sorry, I really can't see what good it's bringing the world."
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-casino-gamblers-20120621,0,6061601.story
His wife, a dedicated mother of three who always made lunch for the kids, had always handled the family's finances. But she hadn't paid the mortgage in a year. Instead she had gambled away hundreds of thousands of dollars playing slot machines.
If he didn't sign foreclosure papers that day in 2003, he learned, their DuPage County home was scheduled to be auctioned off less than 24 hours later.
"I was completely confused," said Clarence, who did not want his last name used to protect his and his children's identities. "The house is going to be auctioned off? I had to get the facts. I thought, 'I'm not signing anything until I find out exactly what's going on here.'"
Anita Bedell, executive director of Illinois Church
Action on Alcohol & Addiction
Problems, said Clarence had reached out to her organization to
share his story, and she put him in touch with the Tribune.
The couple divorced, with Clarence keeping custody
of the children. In September, saddled with debt and unable to pay child
support, Clarence's ex-wife committed suicide, he said, a death he blamed in
part on her gambling
addiction. The Cook County medical examiner's office said at the time that
her cause of death was pending awaiting toxicology reports.
"It seemed like she would tell me when she won, but would not tell me when she lost," Clarence said.
"She was getting the mail, bills weren't being paid, she was borrowing money. I didn't want to create any big family problems. I was hoping that she would come to the logical conclusion that this was bad behavior and she'd stop doing it."
After turning away the real estate agent, Clarence borrowed $2,000 from his cousin to hire an Addison bankruptcy attorney, who worked late into the night to file documents to stop the house auction.
The next day, Clarence opened a new checking account and took control of the family's finances. A day later, his wife filed for divorce.
Clarence's wife kept gambling. She stayed out all night at casinos and stopped making lunches for their children.
Two casinos, Harrah's East Chicago Inc. and Empress Casino Joliet Corp., sued her and were granted judgments totaling more than $7,000 in 2002, records show.
"Going to the casino became a priority," Clarence said. "She was so determined. You couldn't stop her. She'd run you over."
Over the next two years, the couple, who had been together for more than two decades, went through an acrimonious custody battle, he said.
But the financial strain wasn't easy to overcome. Clarence worked 60 hours a week to cover expenses and once visited a food pantry for assistance.
"Here I am, two master's degrees from IIT and going to a food pantry," he said. "I never thought I'd be in that position."
Clarence said the family is now out of debt. He maintains that he loved his ex-wife and does not blame her for her addiction. Rather, he feels the casinos took advantage of his ex-wife's illness. He called it unethical for casinos to mail marketing materials to their regular customers, some of whom might have a gambling problem. He said such mailings enticed his ex-wife to keep gambling.
"When (casinos) go for their renewal in front of the Illinois Gaming Board, they'll talk about all the good they did," Clarence said. "But they never came and tried to help me out. It's pretty aggravating.
Sorry, I really can't see what good it's bringing the world."
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-casino-gamblers-20120621,0,6061601.story
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment