Super Rugby star confronts gambling addiction

Willie Ripia's road to recovery from gambling

Super Rugby star confronts gambling

DAVID LONG
26/08/2012

PETER MEECHAM/Fairfax NZ

WILLIE RIPIA: “It is a troubling illness and,

at the same time, I am more than ashamed with

what I've done, and I don't think there is one

word that can explain how embarrassed and

sorry I am and also the shame I have brought

on myself and more so my family."

Eight months ago, Willie Ripia's world collapsed around him. Yesterday, he took another step towards rebuilding his career and life.

In an exclusive interview, the former Super Rugby player has told of how he is coming back from the hell of gambling addiction.

Ripia, who turned 27 on Monday, spoke to Sunday News at his family home in Rotorua earlier this week. He bravely opened up about his ordeal, to apologise for the pain the habit has caused those around him - and to thank loved ones, and even strangers, for their unyielding support in turning his life around.

Ripia, who is in counselling for problem gambling, said: "The hardest thing is to admit you've got an addiction."

“It is a troubling illness and, at the same time, I am more than ashamed with what I've done, and I don't think there is one word that can explain how embarrassed and sorry I am and also the shame I have brought on myself and more so my family," the former Hurricanes first-five said.

“This is going to be with me for the rest of my life, whether I like it or not, and I'm always going to have people that put me down for it.

“At the same time, there have been people that I don't know really supporting me, whether they've been affected by it, or they love the sport and the people that play it."

In January, Ripia resigned from the Western Force after being confronted with CCTV footage of him at the Super Rugby franchise's Perth changing rooms. Players had earlier complained to management alleging money being taken from their wallets and bags.

Ripia, who had even planned on qualifying to play for Australia, instead retreated to the safety of his family in Rotorua, seeking help and guidance.

Yesterday he turned out for the Bay of Plenty development team against Taranaki in Mt Maunganui.

“You get that little itch and feeling that you're back,” he said.

“I guess it was initially tough with them [Bay of Plenty] not knowing me, other than what happened.

“It will be interesting what happens in the next few weeks.

“I am fortunate that the coaches have given me the opportunity to play. They could have easily said no.”

Ripia was a star first-five throughout his career. He represented New Zealand at under-19 and under-21 level and also played for NZ Maori.

He played 29 games for the Hurricanes and one for the Highlanders before moving to the Force in 2011.

At the Force, Ripia was the key playmaker in a side that included superstars David Pocock and James O'Connor, and the plan was that once he had been with the team for three years he would be eligible for the Wallabies.

But then, everything turned upside down.

Following months of turmoil, Ripia only now felt the time was right to tell his story.

“I haven't gambled for eight months now, which is great, but it's continually going to be with me for the rest of my life,” Ripia said.

“For the whole of my professional career I've had this.

“I played four years of Super Rugby and the whole of that time I was a problem gambler.

“It isn't easy to play rugby, thinking, ‘S..., I've lost a lot of money today' while I'm about to take a kick in front of 20,000 people.

“This wasn't for a year or two, it was my whole career and that's me spending a lot of what I earned as soon as I could get it.

“It's something that happens to not only professional sportsmen, this is something that affects so many people."

Ripia said it was a gradual process that led him to become addicted to gambling.

“Growing up, I was the person who said I'm not going to do that, that's only what idiots do,” he said.
“When I started five or six years ago, I dabbled in it and it became a recreational thing . . .

“Over the years it progressed to be something . . . [I] did every day.

“When I moved to Perth it was so easy to do. You wake up at 7am and the New Zealand trots start and you go to sleep at 11pm and the South African and English trots are happening.

“It did start off with pokies. I've always hated cards and I'm useless at them. But I'm useless at gambling in general.

“It primarily became horses, it was a quick fix for me and especially in Australia.

“I lost quite a lot. I lost everything really and it got so bad that I couldn't control it."

But Ripia said even people close to him wouldn't have realised the extent of his problem.

“It is harder to identify who is a gambler, compared to who is a drug addict or an alcoholic, because you don't show the physical signs.

“You get real good at hiding what's really going on.

“I found out that life is all about perception and I found that gamblers are really good at throwing a
certain perception out there, but when you get caught, man, s... hits the fan.

“It [problem gambling] is something that's not addressed as much as it could [be]. I'm not saying gambling should be banned because some people do it for fun and some people make a living from it, but there are the other people and families [who] get ruined."

Ripia is intelligent. He comes from a good and loving family and - as the number of photos of him on their walls bears testament - one which is proud of his achievements.

Ripia regrets the hurt he's caused them and he regrets not seeking help for his addiction earlier.

“The whole way through it I knew it was wrong, but I was immersed in it so much that I couldn't say that,” he said.

“I definitely knew gambling was wrong, it was just that it was so hard to stop.

"I never talked to anyone about it and that's the worst thing that happened, I never got to express how I felt about it.

“When I was doing it I couldn't sleep at night, I wasn't the person I'd grown up to be. I got myself in a hole and I'm still in a hole and it's hard to pull myself out of that.

“It overpowered the right in my life, all of it. I'm paying for it and that's the terrible thing.

“I knew that things hit the fan and I ruined my rugby career, my respect from players and my respect from everyone and that's huge in life if you don't have respect.”

But Ripia did eventually seek help, including intensive counselling for problem gambling. The counselling continues.

Those helping him in his courageous comeback include his family, friends, NZ Rugby Players Association, his manager, Kent Hale, and the rugby community at large. Ripia hopes people can learn from his story, and that others caught in the grip of the addiction seek help.

"Saying to someone that you need help is the hardest thing you could ever say if you're a problem gambler,” he said.

“With gambling, I'd been away from my family for four years, I never watched my younger brothers play, and I regret all of that.

“I never spent time with family and friends, I was doing everything by myself because I didn't want anyone to know. Coming back and having to try to do that was hard, saying hello to someone I've known all of my life was hard.

“The first three or four months was hard and I would never wish how I felt on anyone.

“It is always going to be different for me than a person who's not on TV. I can't walk out with my head held high and look at people because I know it's human thought that they're going to think about what I've done.

“It's still hard, I'm not going to lie, it's hard saying hello to people.

“But there is nothing like friends and family and that's where I am now, I have family and friends.

"I've had to change how I was and it's hard for me to change.

"I have to continually show how much of a different person I am and how much I want to change, how much I want to continually become a better person and push on with my life.”

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http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/7550289/Willie-Ripias-road-to-recovery-from-gambling